Archive for the ‘Work’ Category

Truancy   Leave a comment

Today I ran away from work.

I am a middle-aged professional in a responsible job. I have my own office. I have people who work for me. I am extremely conscientious, arriving early and finishing late. I sometimes work weekends. I just don’t do slacking.

Then today, I was walking down Oxford Street on the way to a meeting in West London and I just got on the wrong tube and went to my favourite park. I skived off, committed truancy, mitched.

I switched off my mobile and listened to the daft conversations around me. People talking about how good the sausages were (they are!), drinking flasks of tea to keep themselves warm, talking about their dogs, gossiping about their absent friends.

It was a completely unconscious thing to do.

I experienced a brief moment of delight before the self-analysis about why I did it and guilt for the work not done kicked in. Damn my background/culture/heritage! I am still analysing myself about it now!


Simple prayer   Leave a comment

Dear Lord,

Thank you for stopping me from killing people at work today.
I have a hole in my tongue from biting right through it,
And cuts on the palms of my hands from where I clenched my fists so tight that my fingernails broke skin,
Red eyes, high cortisol levels, possible high blood pressure and increased risk of stroke.
But I am going to bed happy because goddamnit!

I proved that I am a mature and responsible adult.


Posted July 4, 2012 by mshambainlondon in Random, Work

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Life   Leave a comment

Yesterday:  home from an epic week at work, completely exhausted and miserable.  Coffee, adrenaline and sheer bad temper kept me going for 13-14 hour days.  Hated life, job and everyone.  Crawled into bed feeling completely sorry for self. Nobody understood me. Nobody appreciated me. Nobody realised how wonderful I was. Nobody loved me.  A little ball of hatred and misery.

Today: Took the day off,  woke late, ate breakfast in bed. Sunshine outside – face up, eyes closed and warmed by the sun. Drank a latte slowly. Had leisurely meandering conversation with a loved one.  Watched people’s faces and listened to their  conversations. Good news from friends. One got a job with a major business, the other who has suffered much in their life, was made a director in their firm.  Found a book I really liked. A stranger was extraordinarily kind to me.  Saw a lovely movie. Ate delicious food in the balmy evening.

Laughed at my yesterday self. Now going to bed beaming, partially due to the large glass of Sauvignon with dinner, but mostly due to the good things in life. (and perspective)

Life is like that.

Work – corporate stylie   Leave a comment

Well-known train station coffee shop at 12.20 pm, Friday:

Counter assistant girl: Are you on your way home now?

Me: No, but nearly there because its Friday.

Girl: Yay! It’s Friday.

Me: Are you off tomorrow?

Girl: Yes

Me: Isn’t Friday great? Are you nearly finished now?

Girl: Not until 9 p.m.

Me: Oh, that’s long. What time did you start?

Girl: 6 a.m.

Me: Wow! Your feet must be killing you. Do you have a long break though?

Girl (and other counter assistant) laugh: No,  it is only us today.

Me: Suitable shocked face.

Girl: And I got up at 3 a.m. this morning because of the bus strike. I am always so tired on Friday but even worse today. Normally I just go home and stand in the shower for a while and then sleep. Then I wake up and I don’t know where I am and I am in pain all day Saturday.

(Neither was British. Wonder how Ed Miliband’s Mandy, Gary, Barry and Holly will cope with this?)

Posted June 23, 2012 by mshambainlondon in Curious incidents, Work

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Exhaustion   Leave a comment

I am empty. I am drained.  I have nothing left inside me. I feel:

Someone described exhaustion to me as a vacuum cleaner sucking everything out of his head. I feel that.
I am tired of noise, people, talking, pushing people to do things,  negotiating, lists that are never-ending, people who always need something, emails saying please call X urgently, deadlines and politics and having to retain the facade of caring when all I want to do is lock the door, hang a big ‘Gone Fishing’ sign and crawl under the desk and sleep…
BUT it is a bank holiday weekend and I am going away to a part of the country that is green. I will be surrounded by green. It makes me feel different, almost physically. It soothes me, drains the stress and replaces it with mellowness and benevolence and goodwill towards all. My squinty red eyes, hunched shoulders, frowny face will all melt into a big mellow grin. I need a dose of my green quickly. Roll on Friday.