News roundup 30/04/2012   Leave a comment

Extracts from Radio 4 news at midnight:

Wild reports of excessive airport queue times says Damien Green. It is the weather says Damien Green. We will send a ‘contingency force’ to the border, says Damien Green. Da, da, da! Border Force Contingency Force to the rescue. Oh Damien, you are so masterful!

Surface to air missiles on top of block of flats in Waltham Forest. It will be a ‘blue Olympics’ say the government, meaning the police will be in charge. Locals respond saying, ‘we don’t like da feds hanging round our gaff’.

David Cameron appeared to lose his temper at Labour questions about requests for an independent investigation into the BSkyB scandal. Jeremy Hunt, Jeremy Hunt, you silly old….runt.  You got Davy in trouble and burst his squeaky bubble.

April wettest for 100 year. 30 flood warnings issued by Environment Agency. The drought continues. (Bad voodoo man)

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